Tag: resentment

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Gratitude as A Mindful Virtue

Fresno Bee, November 26, 2023

Tis the season of gratitude. Gratitude is an important virtue that helps us live well. Like other virtues, gratitude can be found in the middle between vices. Too little gratitude is grumpy and rude. Ungrateful Scrooges live narrow and cramped lives. The ingrate is egoistic and resentful, too focused on what he doesn’t have to give thanks for what he has received.

But too much gratitude is servile and smarmy. Sycophants and suck-ups are effusive in their gratefulness. Sometimes this is manipulative, as the suck-up says thanks to ingratiate themselves to others. The overly grateful seem to lack self-respect and a sense of proportion.

Gratitude demands mindfulness and care. And it involves a kind of reciprocity. When a slave thanks his master for scraps, gratitude is being abused. So, too, when the boss fails to thank his employees for their hard work.

There are other ways that gratitude can misfire. One example is the mass-produced thank-you note. “Dear sir/madam,” the pre-printed note says. “Thanks for the gift.” An anonymous thank-you is better than nothing. But transactional acknowledgement is not authentic gratitude. An anonymous note is a mechanical response devoid of personality. It does not recognize the gift you gave nor the time and thought you put into it.

Genuine gratitude recognizes the person behind the gift. It is more than a transactional exchange. Of course, some gifts are merely transactional — say, an automated donation to a charitable organization. But soulful gifts deserve a personal thanks that celebrates the thought and care of the giver.

On the other hand, some folks go overboard with their thank-you’s. Gratitude goes wrong when it is out of proportion with the gift. It would be odd, for example, for a friend to bring you an expensive souvenir as a thank-you gift for a quick ride to the airport.

You might suspect, in a case like this, that the excessive thanker is buttering you up and preparing to ask for another favor. Virtuous gratitude ought to be free of ulterior motives. You shouldn’t give thanks to show off or to butter up. Genuine gratitude is not selfish or manipulative.

Gratitude is an important part of the project of living well. It is correlated with positive neurological states. Some studies even suggest a grateful spirit can help with longevity and psychological well-being. A grateful way of living is open and receptive, humble and joyful— and healthy!

A generally thankful mindset is not merely a response to a gift. This is not gratitude for something or toward someone. Spiritual gratitude is broader than that.

Religious people thank God as the source of goodness with prayers before meals and at day’s end. This can be linked to a general “count your blessings” attitude. You can overcome a gloomy mood by counting your blessings, and by recognizing that things could be worse.

But gratitude is not the only thing that matters. It misses the point to tell a slave to overcome resentment and count his blessings. Critics of gratitude say it is too passive and acquiescent. Other virtues are also important: justice, courage, and self-respect.

But the saints of gratitude approach life with an accepting and grateful spirit. The grateful saint does not view gratitude as a boring duty, or as a mere transaction. Nor does she use it as an opportunity to show off or suck up. Rather, the paragons of thankfulness experience a kind of unconditional gratefulness that is happy to receive whatever is given.

The affirmative gladness of deeply grateful people overcomes resentment. They view each moment as a gift. They treat every day as Thanksgiving. They seem to believe that we ought to be grateful because things are fundamentally good.

But is it always good to be grateful? Should we give thanks for everything — even for wars and toothaches? Or is gratitude properly reserved for gifts that are genuinely good?

We have wandered into deep questions here about the wisdom of gratitude and the state of the world. These questions can provide food for thought to accompany the pumpkin pie. And thankfully, every year at this time we have the chance to ask ourselves what we are grateful for, and why.

Read more at: https://www.fresnobee.com/opinion/readers-opinion/article282215153.html#storylink=cpy

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The Great Resignation, Growing Resentment, and the American Dream

Fresno Bee, Dec. 12, 20221

People are quitting their jobs. In some industries, it’s difficult to find workers. There are nursing shortages and teacher shortages. Some folks call this “the Great Resignation.”

The pandemic changed the work environment. Some people did not want to risk catching COVID at work. Others were not willing to adapt to remote work or comply with pandemic restrictions. There were government handouts for those at the bottom and a booming stock market for those contemplating retirement.

But the Great Resignation can also be mapped onto the resentment of the working class. This problem predates the pandemic. And it will continue.

Consider two local quitters. Congressman Devin Nunes quit in the middle of his term to become CEO of a Trump company. Fresno State’s football coach, Kalen DeBoer, abandoned his team before the bowl season to become the University of Washington’s head coach. Both are pursuing power and money. DeBoer will double his salary to over $3 million per year. Trump already awarded Nunes a Medal of Freedom. If Trump runs for president again, Nunes will be well-placed.

With these kinds of examples, it’s no wonder that the average schmo is sick of working. The fat cats make millions, while the average worker faces rising gas prices and student loan debt.

This is a system rigged for the rich. The funding priorities of American universities are ludicrous when a coach earns more in a year than a professor earns in a lifetime. And when powerful congressmen jump ship for the private sector, it’s clear why the country is foundering.

We should also consider the way the American Dream has morphed into the desire not to work. The Declaration’s “pursuit of happiness” is interpreted now as a life of leisure without labor. No one seems to believe in a “work ethic.”

Americans dream of making millions on crypto, winning the lottery or becoming online influencers. These dreams imply that hard work is for suckers. The “winners” in our society are those who get rich while doing the least work.

This was not the original American dream. A century ago, the sociologist Max Weber used Benjamin Franklin as an example of the Protestant work ethic. In previous centuries, Americans were suspicious of laziness and profiteering. Work was viewed as the path to salvation, while leisure and luxury were associated with sin. As Weber explained, we once thought, “not leisure and enjoyment, but only activity serves to increase the glory of God.”

Nobody seems to think that way anymore. We see ourselves as consumers instead of workers. We value leisure instead of labor. Nor do we feel loyalty to faceless corporations and heartless industries that show little concern for our well-being. It is no wonder that when the opportunity arises, people quit their jobs. And if people can make millions by jumping ship, we cheer them on rather than questioning their loyalty.

Most of us don’t have the options that Nunes and DeBoer have. And so we dream, while trudging through the motions. Meanwhile, resentment grows.

This is all obviously problematic. If you didn’t work, what then would you do? Good work is needed to make life meaningful. A life without labor can quickly become hollow and boring. At some point, you’ve watched everything on Netflix. Then what?

Human beings are creative, thinking animals. We need problems to solve. That’s one reason that work is good for us. Creative labor exercises the mind. Repetitive and mechanical work deadens the human spirit. The same is true, by the way, of some forms of leisure. The goal is to find meaningful and constructive activity. We need work — and play — that inspires and engages our humanity.

The Great Resignation is an opportunity to rethink our humanity and our economy. The American Dream has narrowed. Inequality is driving resentment. Some jobs remain inhumanly dull and dissatisfying. And our economy does not generate a sense of meaning, belonging or loyalty.

Let’s enliven our workplaces so that work becomes meaningful. Let’s find ways to prevent resentment from festering. Let’s stop idolizing indolent elites who make millions by doing nothing. We should reward loyalty and dedication. And we should remember the virtue of labor and the quiet dignity of a job well-done.