Wisdom and Grace in the New Year

Fresno Bee, Dec. 29, 2024

The transition to a new year is an opportunity to begin again. It is also a time to reflect on days gone by. This process is important, and teaches us lessons in virtue. Life is a series of stops and starts. As the calendar changes, we can practice ending well, and beginning again.

Change is difficult. We clutch tightly to the present. We dwell on the past. And we fear the future. The solution is to love without clinging, to live without fear, and when the time comes, to leave without complaint.

The world’s wisdom traditions often describe life as a process of ending and beginning. The Taoist sage Lao-Tzu said, “Death and birth, ending and beginning are nothing more than the sequence of day and night.” He saw good fortune and bad luck as trifling changes in the eternal flow of things.

The geniuses of living are masters at riding that flow. They manage change with skill and grace. They savor what is, cherish what was, and stride confidently into the unfinished future. Virtuous sages recall the past without nostalgia. They greet the dawn with joy. They are grateful for what they receive. And when the time comes to depart, they take a bow and move along.

Ending things requires courage. It hurts to say farewell. But all good things must end. When the party’s over, it’s time for a brave goodbye. It is not wise to linger too long in parting.

The bittersweetness of leaving is simply part of life. Children move out. Careers end. And friends pass away. This is difficult. But there is a stark purity in closing the door on the past. In some cases, the emptiness of the end comes as a relief. In other cases, the end comes too soon, causing profound suffering.

For a Taoist sage, there is the right time to mourn and then it’s time to move along. For the rest of us, it’s not so easy to let go. Grief is part of life. But it should not become an anchor that ties us to what no longer exists.

The challenge is to accept the inevitability of change, while turning a loss into an opportunity. Starting anew requires courage, and a creative spirit. As we make our new year’s resolutions, we seek to innovate and renew. A resolution is a promise to the future.

New challenges will require us to make a few adjustments. We ought to keep our promises. But there is no telling what might happen. The world will throw up impediments to our resolve. There will be good luck and misfortune. We ought to hope to keep an even keel and persevere through these changes.

Virtues like steadfastness and fortitude help us to remain constant and true. But fortitude without flexibility can become stiff. There is value in keeping your resolutions. But the geniuses of living are not slaves to their promises. They have a kind of free intelligence that is both consistent and accommodating. They embrace the next moment with open arms, while also remaining steady.

The Stoic sage Marcus Aurelius taught that we should accept what happens, while staying true. It is easy to lose yourself and lie to yourself. The difficult task is to remain who you are, while going with the flow.

A curious and open mind is essential. This helps us start something new. The curious mind is interested in what the future may bring. A related virtue is zest or enthusiasm. This is creative and forward-looking energy. It is the gusto or ambition that causes you to jump out of bed in the morning and welcome the day.

The new year offers a fresh start. This is an opportunity to erase some bad habits and write a new chapter. It can help to consult ancient wisdom traditions such as Taoism or Stoicism. But books and sayings are less important than common sense.

Life is full of hellos and goodbyes. The challenge of living well is to balance change and continuity. As we make our resolutions and look back on the past year, we should aim to keep what’s good, welcome the better, and let go of what we no longer need.

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New Year’s Resolution: Live as an Adult

We live in a childish age.  This is an era of immediate gratification, temper tantrums, and short attention spans.  It’s time to grow up.  Here’s an idea for a new year’s resolution: let’s live like adults.

This is an ancient resolution.  In the Second Century, the philosopher Epictetus said “Grow up!  Stop behaving like a child.”  Now is the time to get serious.  “The Olympic games are now,” he said.  Stop procrastinating and start living a good life. 

But it is easy to mope and whine like spoiled children.  We are childish when we expect the world to satisfy our wishes.  The truth is that reality does not conform to your egoistic expectations.

It is difficult to be an adult.  There are bills to pay and work to be done.  There are battles to be fought and losses to be endured.  Adults understand that life is difficult and that it takes hard work.  Adults do their duty.  They avoid self-indulgence and ingratitude. 

Adults also understand that nothing lasts forever.  They prepare for death, realizing that everyone dies and that the world imposes significant limits upon what we can achieve.

The word adult has an intriguing etymology.  It comes from a Latin word for growth, related to the word adolescence.  An adolescent is one who is growing.  An adult has completed that process. 

To be an adult is to be ripe and mature.  Fruit also ripens.  Each creature has its own path of maturation and completion.  The playful puppy becomes a dog who hunts, defends, and stays loyal to its pack.  The sapling grows through several seasons until it produces flowers and fruit.

To be mature is to have reached the final stage of development.  It implies a sense of completion and fulfillment.  Maturity depends on what we take as the essence of the thing that is ripening. 

In our culture, we tend to think that the human essence is defined by liberty and license.  They key coming-of-age milestones in our culture are about the freedom to consume.  At age 21, we gain the freedom to drink alcohol, smoke pot (in California anyway), and gamble.  There are other milestones.  At 16, you can drive a car.  At 18, you can vote. 

It is a sad world in which the entry into adulthood is marked by your ability to buy beer.  Perhaps this is why we often fail to grow up.  In our culture, too many adults are focused on consumption, sensual indulgence, and self-satisfaction.

The philosophical tradition has a different notion of the human essence.  This idea holds that to be fully human is to develop wisdom and virtue.  Adolescents are not yet virtuous or wise.  But adults have ripened to the point at which wisdom and virtue are possible.  This is not about liberty and consumption.  Rather, it is about self-restraint and obedience to the moral law.  Adults know how to control their bodily urges.  They also understand that there are duties and obligations that must be fulfilled. 

At what age does wisdom and virtue become possible? 

Plato suggested that at around age 50 people had the capacity to rule themselves (and others) wisely.  The U.S. Constitution holds that you have to be 25 to run for the House, 30 to run for Senate, and 35 to run for President.

Of course, age is merely a number on a calendar.  Some young people are wiser than their parents.  And some old people are foolish.  The point is to grow up. 

The poet Horace once said: “To begin is only half the battle.  Now is the time for the audacity of wisdom.  Begin!” Horace was referring to a timid animal standing beside a river, waiting for the water to stop flowing for its chance to cross.  We might picture this as a juvenile, waiting for its chance to jump into the flow of life.

But the river stands still for no one.  The point is to take the plunge and get going.

So here is a philosophical new year’s resolution: let’s resolve to be adults.  That means we should be audacious in the pursuit of wisdom.  We should overcome childish self-indulgence.  And we should get to work on being good.